"If your first instinct when you hear the word “feminist” is to say “those man-haters want equality, but they still want me to pay for everything, hurf durf!” then you currently have as accurate an understanding of feminism as a confectioner would have of a Titan II missile schematic. You know those congressmen who say that Grand Theft Auto IV is a “crime simulator” that is “training new felons?” That’s you, and feminism."
girlfriends and whores
the idea of a man being “taken” from another woman manages to deny men agency in order to place the blame squarely on women’s shoulders, and furthermore casts women’s motivations in an automatically suspect light. it precludes the possibility that maybe, possibly, this woman had actual feelings for this man, and perhaps he developed actual feelings for her, and they both handled it exceedingly poorly but it was a thick painful situation, not some powerplay in which women are conniving bitches viewing men as status symbols, and wow, don’t we see THAT everywhere, too? women are materialistic, women want to show up other women, women are gold-diggers or at least status-diggers, women live for and crave the attention of men and see other women as competition, a non-sexual objectification which within this construction is basically accurate, because women are not real people. i mean, boyfriend-stealing: that is some regina george shit.
This is maybe my favourite bit, but the whole post is really great. Go forth and read it all.
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If I’m going to be some kind of role model, then I want to be the role model who says THERE ARE NO FUCKING ROLE MODELS. PUNKS DO NOT HAVE HEROES. YOUR HERO SHOULD BE SOMEONE YOU REALLY KNOW—YOUR BEST FRIEND OR YOUR SISTER. YOUR HERO SHOULD BE YOURSELF.
I am not perfect. I am a jerk and an asshole sometimes. I fuck up and do bad things. I hurt people. I do all the things that regular people do. I am trying to be a better person but I sometimes can’t. If I am going to be an inspiration than I want to inspire people the reject the idea of perfection, to reject the idea of a rock star, and to just get out there and be yourself—as imperfect and as different and as un-rock star like as you might be.
"“[O]ne of the main things [I want] is for the female voice to be just as important and ubiquitous as that of the male. That’s just what I want. I just want women’s experiences and their artistic productions and everything to be just as valuable and worthy of scrutiny as men’s. That can be good women, bad women, stupid women, smart women — I just want it to be an even playing field because we’re all having a life experience right now. Historically that paucity of art from the female perspective, it leaves me with no real history. It frustrates me. I just want that to change. I just want, when people look back at the early 21st century, that they’re drawing from both sexes’ experiences without thinking about it and they can pick and choose what they think is good and what they think is bad.”—
Liz Phair, Venus, Summer 2003 (source)
I just wanted to leave you with a little tidbit that conveys how fucking awesome Liz Phair is. That’s all.
I’m not gonna lie to you, Tumblr: I’m pretty taken with Liz Phair. Listened to whitechocolatespaceegg a whole lot as I stumbled confusedly through the first few years of the decade before this one (I’M OLD). And I love this quote.
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Darnielle: For years, I’ve written narrators who aren’t gender-identified. When I do autobiographical stuff, that’s different, obviously. But I’ve always tried to keep my songs as potentially not a man’s thing. I think so many rock songs you assume by default it’s a man’s thing. That’s a weakness of narrative. And when I was younger, my early songs employed this trope that is popular to this day with indie singer-songwriters, where a guy is gonna hurt himself or do something drastic and appalling in order to show the object of his affection how intense his love for her is.
Paste: And we’re supposed to celebrate his self-destruction.
Darnielle: Yeah! And you’re supposed to think that’s amazing when these guys tell these stories: “Oh, he broke something, he hurt somebody, he did something rash; his love must have been so great!” instead of, “Oh no, he’s a psycho.” When I was younger, I did those too. And then I thought, that’s kinda bullshit to tell stories like that. I try not to write songs in which men glamorize their own need for approval from women. That’s kinda a bogus way to go out. But I try to do this quietly, I’m not about to go around telling people how they should or shouldn’t think. My feminism is for me.
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John Darnielle interview, Paste Magazine (via annierachel) (via fuckyeahthemountaingoats)
That’s what I’m talking about. Especially the “Oh no, he’s a psycho” part.
